Guestbook

Site Map

by Mark Twain

In a totally innocent attempt to find the cure for a small ailment he is experiencing, Mark Twain begins to read a medical book, and becomes convinced that he is experiencing the symptoms of almost every disease and ailment listed in the book. He starts to muse about what an unusual case he must be, and how some doctor would be fortunate to study him as a wonder of nature. "Students would have no need to "walk the hospitals," if they had me. I was a hospital in myself! All they need do would be to walk 'round me, and after that, take their diploma! Then I wondered, how long I had to live." His paranoia drives him to his doctor, and the wacky story progesses hysterically. After receiving a prescription, Twain takes it to a pharmacist, who promptly states that he cannot fill the prescription. The prescription reads: "I lb. beefsteak, with 1 pt. bitter milk every 6 hours: 1 ten-mild walk every morning: 1 bed at 11 sharp every night; and don't stuff up your head with things you don't understand!"
approx. 7-8 min.